Is Castration
Right For Me?
If you are seriously considering castration at all, the decision
of whether or not to have this surgery will probably be the most serious
decision you will ever make in your life.
The removal of two tiny organs from your body will have a major impact
on your body and your life, and once done there is no way to reattach those
organs and have everything the way it was before. Fertility is forever and absolutely lost, and
in the absence of testosterone your body will develop differently than it was
originally programmed to. Testosterone
replacement injections are painful, and offer incomplete and uncertain
restoration of life as it was. For these
reasons, you must be absolutely certain before you proceed with surgical
castration, and you should not go through with this until you are absolutely
certain that your life will be improved by castration.
In this section, I wish to address several issues I have often
encountered in my E-Mails, in the eunuch newsgroup, and on message boards. These are issues that every person who is in
any way contemplating castration needs to seriously consider.
How
do I know if castration is right for me?
There is no test to determine if a person should be
castrated. Therapists might help a
person sort out their issues, but even the professionals can’t truly determine
if a person should be castrated. You are
the person who will live the rest of their life after castration, or after a
decision to not be castrated. Therefore
the decision must be absolutely yours alone.
If you are uncertain, then I would suggest that you go to my castration effects page. Read and consider every effect, both the good
and the bad. Does the description of
castration effects appeal to you? How do
you feel about all of the effects combined?
You can’t decide which effects you will accept and which ones you won’t
have. You have to either accept that all
of the effects may occur after you are castrated, or reject all of the effects
by declining to be castrated. This is an
all or nothing decision.
What may be an advantage of castration for one person may be a
serious disadvantage for another. For
example, I really wanted to prevent my body from masculinizing
any further, yet many persons would have anxiety over the cessation or loss of masculinization.
Perhaps some effects appeal to you, while you don’t wish some of
the other effects. What is more
significant for you, the effects you wish or the effects you dislike? Would the advantages be worth the
disadvantages for you? For me, the
elimination of male libido, the prevention of masculinization,
and the calming effects of greatly reduced testosterone were well worth the
risks of osteoporosis and the possibility of hot flashes, while infertility and
the loss of physical strength did not bother me at all.
Is
there a non-permanent way to experience the effects of castration so I can try
it out and see if it is right for me?
Yes. There are a couple
of medications that block the effects of testosterone and cause the physical
and mental effects of surgical castration.
Chemical castration is actually even more effective than the
surgical castration, because anti-androgen medications suppress not only the
testosterone from the testicles, but they also suppress the small amounts of
testosterone produced by the adrenal glands.
Your adrenal glands are located above each kidney, and they produce
about five to ten percent of the total testosterone in the uncastrated
male.
If you decide you like the effects, you can either continue
taking the medication or seek the surgical castration. If you find that you are not as happy with
castration, you can simply discontinue the medication, after which your testosterone
levels will return to their former levels and your body and emotions will be
restored.
To obtain anti-androgens, I would recommend finding a doctor who
treats transsexuals by providing hormone therapy for them, and requesting
androgen blockers. A therapist might be
able to help you obtain such medication from a doctor.
I
suffer from an intense sex drive that I wish to be relieved from, but I don’t
want to lose all of it, I just want it reduced.
Will castration just reduce my sex drive, or will I lose all of it?
Each person is different and will experience variations in the
effects of castration. Unfortunately I
can’t tell you how much your sex drive will decrease, or if you will have any
left after castration. Some people will
totally lose their drive after castration, and some will still have some drive
although a much reduced drive. Before
you get castrated, you have to accept that you may lose more drive than you
wish to lose.
For me, the male sex drive contradicted my sense of self, and I
would have been happy to totally lose my sex drive. I didn’t (and still don’t) care if I never
had another orgasm in my life. Indeed, I
was disappointed that I didn’t lose it entirely and that I still had occasional
nighttime erections. Still, I did
experience a much-reduced drive, and except for the nighttime erections, the
unwanted erections have ceased. I
recently started taking a low dose of estrogen, which have further reduced the
drive and the nocturnal erections.
One thing I can suggest is what I suggested above: to try out
androgen blockers and see how it would feel to be castrated. The experience of chemical castration may
give a hint of how much drive you would retain after surgical castration.
I
want to be castrated by……………………
I see many requests in E-Mail, message boards, and mailing lists
for castration by certain means. While
the discussion of castration methods (such as S/M scenes, or by certain types
of persons) does not bother me, I do worry about the happiness of the person after
they are castrated. When I read some of
the requests or questions, I sometimes wonder if the person is more focused on
enjoying the castration procedure rather than on the much more important issue
of what their life will be like afterwards.
Do you seek castration for the effects, or do you seek castration merely
to experience the act of castration?
For me, the castration procedure was something unpleasant that I
had to put myself through so I could afterwards experience the lifetime
benefits that would result. For me, they
were benefits, yet for the vast majority of real men would negatively affect
the quality of their lives.
Some examples of requests I frequently read include:
1.
I want a woman to castrate me.
2.
I want to be castrated without anesthesia, and to feel the pain.
3.
I am a sub seeking a master to castrate me and make me his
slave.
4.
Will I ejaculate as my balls are cut off?
The thing I usually notice about these requests is that the
person making the requests is more preoccupied with the manner in which they
will be castrated, and I have to ask if they have considered at all what their
life will be like after their castration experience.
I strongly urge you to
consider something.
By whatever means you
are castrated by, remember that your castration procedure itself will last only
a couple of hours at the most. If you
are castrated by any means other than a medical doctor, your castration
experience may be even briefer. Any
sexual feelings you experience from a castration procedure will last only
minutes, and that final orgasm will last only seconds.
After that, the effects
of your castration will last for the rest of your life, and you can never have
your testicles put back on your body.
Hormone replacement will not be the same as having the testosterone
naturally produced by your testicles.
Even with testosterone replacement, you will never be the same
again. If you don’t really desire the
aftereffects of castration, then no matter how much you would enjoy going
through a castration procedure, it would not be worth the effects you would
feel for the rest of your life.
In the summer 1999 there were several posters in the alt.eunuchs.questions newsgroup who wrote about how they
regretted their castration. One of these
persons was actually a patient of Dr. Spector. In those days there was also a poster who
denied that he regretted his castration from years before, but his posts were
harsh. In one post, this person wrote,
‘Sorry, I don’t have a pair to do it again’, as if he wanted more testicles
merely to go through the procedure again rather than experience the
aftereffects, and I have to wonder if he really wished the effects of
castration or sought to experience the procedure.
Do you really want to live with the effects of castration for
the rest of your life, just to experience a brief castration procedure? Some men who become eunuchs in this manner
have felt anguish only hours after their castration.
Sometimes a person writes something like, ‘I wish to have an
empty (scrotal) sac’. Castration is much
more than the removal of your testicles.
It will have drastic effects on your feelings, sexuality, and your life
in general.
If you are not absolutely certain that you wish to live the rest
of your life with the effects of castration, then you must make sure that
castration remains a fantasy for you. As
long as you are not castrated, you can enjoy your fantasies for life, but once
castrated, your sexuality is forever lost.
I have corresponded with some men who have castration fantasies. Most of these men seem to understand that
their feelings are strictly fantasy and know that they don’t really want real
castration and the aftereffects. But
occasionally, a young adult will go through with a true castration scene while
he lacks the knowledge of what he’s doing, or sometimes a drunk
man with the fantasy gets himself in an S/M scene that goes too far. Then the regrets are swift and permanent.
So
if I feel aroused at the idea of castration, does this mean that castration
would be wrong for me?
While this does not necessarily mean that you shouldn’t be
castrated, it does mean you should reconsider the idea. Certainly a person should not be castrated
just because they have a castration fetish.
The ultimate question is not how the idea of castration arouses you, but
how you will feel after castration once your sex drive and fertility are
gone. I do know of a few eunuchs online
who had sexual fantasies about castration before their procedure, yet were
happy after they became a eunuch. But
there are many more who went through the procedure, and then were unhappy with
their life as a eunuch.
The tendency for sexual arousal over castration is a strong
warning to be cautious. Even if the idea
of castration does not cause sexual excitement, you still need to be very
cautious and really think about how castration will affect your life before you
go through with this. If you do have
these sexual feelings, then that is one more serious reason to hesitate and
really think this over. Once you are
castrated, the fantasy will fade with your libido.
A castration fetish does not guarantee that you will be happy
after castration. If a fetish is the
only reason you are considering castration, then you will probably feel very
miserable after castration and should therefore keep it a fantasy.
Please understand that I do not condemn your fantasy. My concern is your happiness and how you will
feel for the rest of your life. I would
not want to deprive you of the right to enjoy your fantasy. I would much rather you decline castration so
that you may enjoy your fantasy for life, than to have one brief castration
experience followed by a lifetime of regret.
If you are not harming another person, then there is no reason at all to
try to ‘cure’ your fantasy.
I
really want to be castrated and lose the sex drive, but what will my family
think? My wife says she will divorce me
if I go through with this.
There is something every person needs to understand, whether or
not they wish to be castrated: Your body
is yours, and you alone have the right to be castrated or not to be castrated.
Women have the right to refuse sex with a man. Men also have the right to decline sex, if
they are so inclined. Here in the USA
your wife can abort your child without your consent, and even a teenage girl
can obtain an abortion without the consent of her parents. I’ve also heard of an abortion clinic
refusing to perform an abortion on a girl because her parents were obviously
trying to coerce her into it.
Do you not also have the right over your own body? I strongly feel that nobody at all should
dictate that you should or should not be castrated. I am my mother’s only natural offspring, and
I never had any children, yet I never even asked her because I have no obligation
to. As of this time (March 2002), my
mother still doesn’t know that she will certainly never have any natural
grandchildren.
If you are certain that you would be happier as a eunuch with
your sex drive gone, then nobody should have the right to prevent your from
obtaining what you wish. If a wife,
parent, or anyone else insists that you should tolerate and suffer an unwanted
sex drive, then in my opinion they are no better than men who condone the rape
of women.
If I
am castrated, will anyone else ever find out?
The doctor who will perform your castration will know, but if he
is doing your castration then he should be OK with it. Your general care practitioner should
probably know so that he/she can better care for your health. If you are married, your spouse will probably
notice your lack of testicles and your much-reduced libido. Otherwise, you should be able to pick and
choose who knows and who doesn’t.
I lost enough physical strength that a supervisor at work was
angry that I could no longer do a heavy lifting task in her department, but she
never had any idea why. I simply moved
out of her department and into a different section of the chicken plant where
heavy lifting would never be required.
If you do not wish to tell, then you should not be worried about anyone
figuring out that you had a voluntary castration. I’ve also had to discontinue doing a few
things for my mom that required heavy lifting, but she still has no idea why.
The only ways another person might figure out what you did are
if you tell them, or if you undress in someone else’s sight. You will need to either avoid dressing or
changing areas and other situations where someone else might see your genitals. If you need to discuss this with a doctor or
therapist, they should respect your confidentiality.
Most men are anxious about the idea of castration, and may be
offended about the concept of voluntary castration. While some eunuchs have reported positive
experiences after disclosing at work or to family members, I personally do not
recommend disclosure. Some eunuchs have
had problems in the workplace, and I suspect I would have problems in my
workplace if my coworkers ever found out.
Most eunuchs are still able to perform their work after castration, so
there is no reason to inform any supervisors about it.
I have told only other transgendered persons like myself, and my
friends in PFLAG know. I have also
shared experiences with one elderly man who had castration to treat his
prostate cancer. Otherwise, I am stealth
about this at work, in the neighborhood, and within my family. Although many of my coworkers have observed
my unmanly manners and have long suspected that I am a gay person, nobody has
ever figured out that I got castrated.
You should not worry too much about accidental discovery.
What
if I have only one testicle removed?
The removal of just one testicle will have practically zero
effect. If only one testicle is lost or
destroyed, the other testicle will enlarge and increase testosterone production
to make up for the absence of the first one.
This is quite a relief for those who lose one testicle due to accident
or illness, but it is bad news for anyone who seeks partial castration effects
or who hoped for a hint of what complete castration would feel like.
To experience the effects of surgical castration, both testicles
must be removed. Surgical castration is
an all or nothing deal, and once done it is permanent.
Some
wrong reasons
I have seen men seeking castration for many various reasons in
my E-Mail and also on message boards.
Some of these men will truly benefit from castration, and I have
followed the journeys of some as they found a surgeon, wait for their surgery
date, and then describe their recovery followed by their feelings of relief afterwards.
I also see some men seeking castration for issues that would be
better dealt with by less serious means.
Some of these men are focused on one single benefit that they expect to
gain from castration. The problem is,
you can’t accept some benefits and decline others. Surgical castration is an all or nothing
deal, and if you are going to do it, you must accept all of the consequences,
both good and bad.
In the days after my own castration, I corresponded with one
young man who had regrets about being a eunuch.
I’m not sure what his exact motives for seeking castration were, but
apparently he had found a long website whose purpose was to promote
castration. This website was so pushy
that I do not include it on my links.
This site referred the man to Dr. Spector, who
then performed the procedure, and then the man had regrets ever after.
Hair Loss – I used to lurk on the newsgroup alt.baldspot. Occasionally someone would suggest castration
to treat their problem. Fortunately,
other men would quickly warn the poster to not get castrated, saying that
solution was too extreme. I have to
agree with them, especially since there are now medications that will treat
hair loss just as effectively.
Castration may prevent further hair loss, but it will not regrow any hair that you have already lost. The vast majority of men would rather lose
their hair than to lose their testicles, fertility, and testosterone. Fortunately men don’t have to make that
choice anymore, since they can take Proscar, use Minoxidil, have hair transplants, or get a hair replacement
system.
Excess body hair – If loss of body hair is the only effect that
you seek from castration, then I would strongly suggest that you instead see an
electrologist.
Most electrologists are more than willing to
work on men, including those seeking beard removal.
Birth control – You can obtain effective birth control with a
vasectomy, which is an even more minor procedure and would not have any of the
other effects that castration would cause.
Back to my castration landing page
Back to my home transgendered page