I had a graduated recovery plan, in
which I would gradually transition from total bed confinement to being on my
own and back to work in six weeks:
1st week: confined to bed,
nurses do practically everything for me.
2nd week: mostly confined to
my hotel room and the clinic, but I can take care of myself (taking a shower,
purchasing food, etc.)
3rd week: remained in
Thailand, still have help with dilation, but doing sightseeing and shopping.
4th week: left Thailand and
all of the nice caring people there, but stayed at a friend’s home.
5th and 6th
weeks: back home, doing everything for myself except going back to work.
With my surgery and the difficult first
week now behind me, I had almost nothing to be afraid of. Sherry Marlene was released the day after I was, and we recovered together in our hotel room. We were both relieved to be there for each
other. We met two more patients from
Florida, and the Chinese patient finally opened up to me. After we had recovered sufficiently during
the second week, Jaruwan let us explore Bangkok, take care of business at the
embassy, and took us to a few places.
Monday, October 10th, 2005
Sherry Marlene Is Released
I was a
little concerned about something today.
Jaruwan was going to drive me to the clinic twice today, but I was not
going to begin dilation until tomorrow.
I could not help recalling what I read about a couple of post-ops of a
different surgeon whose dilation was delayed indefinitely until they had almost
nothing to dilate. But Sherry Joanne, I
thought you were not concerned with vaginal depth. Well I didn’t feel concerned before my
surgery, but now that I had a complete vagina, I cherished it and wanted to
keep it. But I decided that I would hold
my peace for today, because they did say I would dilate tomorrow.
The reason I
needed to go to the clinic today was so the nurses could clean my new genitals, douche, and remove more of my external
stitches. While I was there, I met the
two patients from Florida who would be having their SRS and BA surgeries
tomorrow and Wednesday.
I also used
the clinic’s computer for the first time since my surgery, read my E-Mail, and
let my friends know that I was OK. One
friend from the east coast had tried to send me flowers, but Dr. Kamol didn’t
have the correct hospital listed on his website, and she was unable to send the
flowers to my hospital room. I informed
her that I was now in room 928 at the Town In Town
Hotel.
When I
returned to my hotel room, my phone was ringing. My friend from the eastern US had already
read my E-Mail and she was already trying to call me. We had met several years ago when I was still
living in Arkansas. Unfortunately our
conversation was shortened when I had visitors knocking on my door.
The Florida
women told me that they were on their way to a mall, and offered to take me
with them. I wasn’t sure I would be OK
if I rode taxis, and shopping malls meant lots of standing and walking. Jaruwan would tell me that I should wait
another week before I went to any mall.
Besides, I had asked Jaruwan to take me with her when she went to the
hospital to get Sherry Marlene and bring her back to the hotel. But I did let them buy lunch from McDonalds
for me.
Sherry
Marlene was released today, but because of a mix-up, I didn’t meet Jaruwan when
she stopped at the hotel for me, and I missed my ride to the hospital. Sherry Marlene returned to our hotel room
just before my afternoon session at the clinic, and I
told her, “You will sleep good tonight!”
The Florida
women went out again tonight, and brought Pizza Hut back to the hotel for
us. One of the patients worried about
being cleared for surgery because of chronic high blood pressure, and she felt
very anxious tonight. We all hoped that
she would be able to have her surgery on Wednesday.
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
Angela picked
us up at 9AM for our short ride to the clinic.
A nurse removed the last of my external stitches. I still had dissolvable stitches that would
dissolve over the next several weeks.
After another cleaning, she inserted my first and smallest (one inch)
dilator in me. It took ten to fifteen
minutes to completely insert it, and then she held it there for 50
minutes. I was relieved, not only that
not dilating yesterday had not affected my depth, but that I would not lose any
when I did not dilate during my long flight in two weeks from now.
When we
returned to our hotel room, we found beautiful flowers sitting on our
table. My east coast friend had tried to
send flowers again, and this time she was successful. I felt so grateful for everyone who had
expressed well wishes and concern for me at the time of my surgery.
One of the
Florida girls had already left the hotel for her surgery later today. The other
one visited us, and was ecstatic and relieved because Dr. Kamol had cleared her
for surgery tomorrow despite her high blood pressure. There was good news for everyone today.
Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
Thai Food
Dilation felt
a little easier today, and insertion only took five minutes. Once the dilator was inserted, the nurse let
me hold it in for an hour. I watched the
clock to see how long it took to prepare for dilation and then clean up
afterwards. In addition to the one hour
of actual dilation, it took ten minutes to prepare and insert the dilator, and
then ten more minutes to extract the dilator and clean up. So I should plan on one hour plus 20 minutes
for each dilation session, and for three months I will need to dilate twice per
day.
I pretty much
ate only western food during my stay in Thailand. But Sherry Marlene loves Thai food, including
the hot spices that the Hispanics back home would call ‘picante’. She said that she could not find authentic
Thai food back home. Today Jaruwan and
Angela took her to an open air Thai restaurant, and she talked me into coming
with them. I only ordered rice with
pork, and without those hot spices. The
restaurant did give me a full plate, and even with a Coke, my meal cost only 50
Bhat. Even if
it wasn’t my favorite food, I still greatly enjoyed my time with the three of
them.
Sherry and I
ate dinner at the more expensive hotel restaurant tonight. I ordered western food and Sherry Marlene
tried more Thai food. Both of our
friends from Florida were now post-op and recovering. I hoped we would be able to visit them in the
hospital.
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
404’d in Bangkok
The 13th
day of the month fell on a Thursday, but today seemed more like an unlucky
Friday the 13th.
I took my
first ride in a Bangkok taxi this morning.
Someone else at the clinic needed to use the van, so Angela had called a
taxi cab and picked us up in this. Our
ride from the hotel to the clinic was very short, but it was long enough to
scare us with some of the Bangkok traffic.
Our taxi briefly drove on the right side (meaning the wrong side) of the
road and spooked us. To our relief, Dr.
Kamol loaned his own car to Jaruwan so she could drive us back to the
hotel. After my morning dilation,
Jaruwan gave me an elephant from the clinic.
Sherry
Marlene and I spent lots of time on the computer this week. You would think that spending hours on the
internet would be a horrible waste of time while in Bangkok when we could be
going so many places. But the clinic
didn’t want us to be tourists just yet, not until we had recovered a little
more. The only walking we were allowed
to do this week was from the hotel to the clinic, and
the market whenever we needed to buy something.
Aside from the time spent dilating, I think we spent almost half of our
free time on the clinic computers, and the rest of our time lying down in
bed.
When one of
us was using the guest computer, the nurses would usually make a laptop
available for the other person. Angela
and Jaruwan sometimes expressed concern for us when we did even that much
walking. They did try to keep us from
getting bored during our restricted second week of recovery. Besides letting us use the computers at the
clinic, they would sometimes take us out to eat at the open-air rice restaurant
or somewhere else close by.
Today was not
a good day for computer use. The main
guest computer did not work today. I was
able to use the laptop this morning.
Sherry Marlene walked back to the clinic long before the time for our
afternoon dilation, but she found that all computers were down. We were finally able to connect online early
this evening, but not for long.
Thunderstorms arrived, and they needed to shut down the computers to
protect them from lightning. I had lost
a monitor last year when lightning hit a tree just outside my apartment
building, so I understood too well their need to shut down the computers.
But we had to
also cancel plans to eat out at an open-air Thai noodle restaurant because of
the storms. Sherry
Marlene did buy noodles outside the market, and I bought a few things inside,
but we felt like we had been 404’d all day, and not just on the computer.
Friday, October 14th, 2005
Dr. Kamol Reassures Me Again
It continued
to rain in Bangkok overnight, and we heard more thunder as we woke up this
morning. I hoped that today would not be
like yesterday. In spite of even more
thunderstorms this afternoon, today was a better day. Today the clinic gave Sherry Marlene her
elephant. I guess the clinic gives an
elephant to each patient when they are ten days post-op.
We used the
computers this morning and made up for our missed time yesterday. Then we spent the afternoon at the
hotel. We watched more clouds build up,
and thunderstorms again threatened. I
don’t like to be caught in thunderstorms, and after a stormy August back home,
I didn’t want to hear any more thunderstorms for the rest of this year. But I did take a few pictures of the clouds
developing over Bangkok. The heaviest
rains barely missed us this afternoon. I
was relieved when the storms had passed by just before it was time for our
afternoon dilation appointment at the clinic.
Dr. Kamol
examined me during my afternoon dilation.
I told him that I was worried because I seemed to have an awful lot of
swelling, and I didn’t yet have all of my voice back. I could talk normally, and would have no
problem going back to work with my voice as it was now. I was really missing only the falsetto
ranges. But I loved to hum songs and
tunes, and I could not do that right now until I recovered all of my upper
range. The doctor told me that it would
take some more weeks for my voice to completely recover, and even longer for my
genital swelling to subside.
My right
inner labia was still much larger than the left side, and the right lip of
inner labia still protruded instead of covering my clitoris. Dr. Kamol explained that because I am a thin
girl, and had didn’t have much fat down there, I was prone to swell up more
than usual. I had first realized how
prone I was to swelling when I had my first session of facial electrolysis at
the E2000 clinic in Texas five years ago, and now I saw this immense swelling
in my genitals.
Saturday, October 15th, 2005
Food Sickness
I woke up at
4AM with nausea. I felt like I would
vomit if I so much as sat up in bed. I
waited for a short while, hoping that this nausea would go away, but it would
not. I think I had food sickness. Last night I had eaten at the Pizza Town with
Sherry Marlene, and instead of pizza I had decided to try their lasagna. I somehow just felt that this lasagna was
causing my sickness.
Somehow I did
not vomit when I finally did go to the bathroom, but I had nasty diarrhea. Going to the bathroom gave me partial relief
from my nausea, but it came back, and I had to keep returning to the toilet
again and again for the rest of the night.
I did not go downstairs with Sherry Marlene for breakfast this
morning. Fasting seemed to stop the
diarrhea, but it took a few more hours before I felt well again.
Even though I
did not feel quite right, I had a pleasant time at the clinic this morning when
I went for my morning dilation. While I
was on the computer, the shy patient walked by and attempted to communicate
with me. She was finally opening up to
me, and she had chosen another shy person for reaching out to. She had BA surgery with her SRS, and I think
she was curious whether or not I had also had BA.
I felt even
more excited when Jaruwan told me that she would take Sherry Marlene and I with her for her daily visit to the Florida patients at
the hospital. Both Florida girls were
now several days post-op. On our way
over, Jaruwan stopped at a convenience station to put fuel in the van. I went in the store to buy something to
eat. I was feeling perfectly well again,
and now I was hungry! I found a sandwich
and a cup of jello for only 13 Bhat.
Both of the
Florida women had BA surgery with their SRS, so they had felt more pain and
discomfort than we had last week. But
both were well on the road to recovery.
They had ordered Pizza Hut delivered to their hospital room, and bragged
that they also had the phone numbers for McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried
Chicken. They would be released next
Monday and Tuesday.
I was still
hungry enough to accompany Sherry Marlene and Jaruwan for another meal out at
the open-air Thai restaurant where I had eaten rice a few days ago. As we ate, a woman offered lottery tickets
for sale. I normally don’t play any
lotteries back at home, but I thought I would buy two tickets at 40 Bhat apiece just so I could say that I had played a foreign
lottery. The grand prize was two million
Bhat, which would be about $50,000 US dollars.
The Chinese
patient visited me again during my afternoon dilation again, and she was interested
in my results. A nurse helped clear some
of the language barrier.
Sherry
ordered pizza to go from Pizza Town. I
bought food from the market. I knew I
would eat pizza from Pizza Town again, but not tonight, and I would never eat
more of their lasagna again.
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
Mom’s Birthday
Today was my
mom’s birthday. I usually call her on
her birthday and Mother’s Day, even though she does not accept my transition
and will not call me Sherry. But today I
had second thoughts about calling her.
Mom would not
have a happy birthday if I called and ended up disclosing that I had SRS. I decided that it would be better if I
pretended that I forgot to call her on her birthday this year. I know I will have to contact her again
someday, but I don’t know if I will ever tell her that I had SRS. Why give her news that would only disturb her
even more?
Jaruwan
was off today, so Angela took us to and from the clinic. Today the nurses let me do most of the work
dilating, and I inserted the dilator myself for the first time. Otherwise, our Sunday was uneventful.
Monday, October 17th, 2005
We Were Now Tourists
I met the
Chinese woman again on my way to my morning dilation. Angela took Sherry Marlene to a Thai
restaurant again. Meanwhile, one of the
women from Florida was released from the hospital today.
Jaruwan
finally released us from hotel confinement, and we
were now permitted to be tourists. She
would take us to the Royal Palace later this week. Tonight we would go to a five-story mall
about half an hour from the hotel.
Two of the
nurses rode the taxicab with us to the mall.
At first we had lots of fun in the mall.
We shopped in a CD store, where I bought a CD by Air Supply, and Sherry
Marlene found the double CD by the Bee Gees which I already had back home. We ate at a McDonald’s inside the mall.
Sherry
Marlene started to feel sore. I lasted a
little longer, but when we were ready to go back to our hotel, we got lost in
the mall. After we finally found our way
to the front exit, and caught a taxi, the driver got lost and took a wrong turn
away from the hotel. We both returned to
the hotel very exhausted. Jaruwan and
Angela had cautioned against us going far from the hotel last week, and now I was glad that I had not tried to do this a week ago when
someone else had invited me to.
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
I Am A Winner!
Angela
instructed us to try using the second dilator.
Dr. Kamol provides a set of six dilators in 1/16th inch
increments. Our smallest is 16/16, or one
inch, and our largest is 21/16, or just over 1 ¼ inches. Angela told me to insert the first one for 15
minutes and then use the 17/16 for 45 minutes.
This afternoon I used the number 2 dilator exclusively.
We would soon
receive our clinic letters that would verify our successful SRS so that we
could have our government agencies back home change the gender on our birth
certificates, passports, and other documents.
Jaruwan researched the process for having our surgery letters
notarized. She asked me to compose one
letter in my own words to present with the surgery letter at the embassy.
The other
woman from Florida was released from the hospital this morning, and now both of
the Florida women were with us at the hotel.
One of them was healing so rapidly that the clinic was going to start
dilating her tomorrow.
Jaruwan gave
us our post-surgery letters from the clinic after our afternoon dilations. Sherry Marlene and I planned a ride to the US
embassy tomorrow morning.
I used the
clinic’s computer again this evening. On
one mailing list, the posters were commenting on a lottery back in the
USA. I remembered those Thai lottery
tickets I had purchased last Saturday just for fun, and thought I might as well
check the results. I asked Jaruwan to
look up the winning numbers, and then went back to reading mailing lists and
E-Mails on the computer. But I soon
heard some joyful shouting from the office.
Jaruwan came back and informed me that I had won the 1000 Bhat prize, and because I had purchased two tickets with
the same numbers, I had won 2000 Bhat. This was worth about 50 us Dollars. Thailand assessed only a two percent tax on
my winnings, so Jaruwan would turn in my
winning tickets and give me almost 2000 Bhat in a
couple of days.
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
Pioneer Women Explore The Embassy
We woke up at
5:30 AM this morning, and ate breakfast as soon as the breakfast buffet opened
at 6AM, so we could get to the embassy early.
We arrived when the embassy opened at 7AM. Jaruwan told us to not worry about making it
back to the clinic by 9AM, and that it would be OK if we were a little late for
our morning dilation.
I had brought
with me a mailing list post written by someone who had been to the embassy many
months earlier and had gone through this process. I’m afraid that the process here might have
changed since then, because this post seemed to be obsolete. If you are reading this in six to twelve
months from now, you might find that my own account of our ordeal in the
embassy is no longer applicable to your efforts to have your surgery letters
notarized.
We had a
moderate wait before we passed through the security. From reading that long ago post, I had
expected that the people in security would ask us why we were here, and then
direct us to wait in the correct line.
But they told us nothing, and just sent us through.
Now we found
two lines. One sign indicated American
Citizen Services, but to me this seemed to point at one of the two lines rather
than around the side of this part of the building, where nobody seemed to be
going. It took us more than an hour to
reach the front of that line. Sherry
Marlene was feeling terribly sore, and she thought
something was bleeding. When we finally
reached the front of this line, we were told that we were in the wrong place,
and we had to go to a different room. We
had waited a long time, and Sherry Marlene had endured misery all for nothing.
We found the
inside room full of people. Now I saw
several long lines leading to different windows? Where were we supposed to go? And where was Sherry Marlene? I actually saw ‘window 13’, where the author
of that post wrote that she had obtained her notarizations. LED screens indicated numbers being served,
but where were we supposed to draw our numbers?
I started to look for somebody to ask for directions.
Jaruwan
seemed to appear from nowhere. She
directed me to a window in a smaller front room where the American Citizen
Services now was. Sherry Marlene had
already found this window, and was now being helped. Jaruwan disappeared as quickly as she had
appeared to materialize. I mentioned to
Sherry that I had seen Jaruwan, but she told me she had not. Today was Jaruwan’s day off, and even if it
hadn’t been her day off, I would have been surprised that she would have the
time to come to our embassy, wait in line to get through security, and then
find us. Had I really seen Jaruwan? She was certainly a godsend, and I am grateful
for the many times she has gone out of her way to help us.
Please keep
in mind that this advice could be out of date by the time you go to Thailand:
As of October
2005, when you are a post-op seeking to have surgery letters notarized, you
first need to wait in the outside lines to pass through security. A short distance later you will see two lines
within a courtyard, but do not wait in either of these lines. We wasted an hour here, and because we were
recovering from recent surgery, we suffered discomfort in the process. You need to take the walkway well to the
right of these lines, and you will enter a front room. There will be a larger room beyond this
anteroom, but you do not need to continue to this larger room yet. First, as you enter this front room, you need
to look for the American Citizen Services to your right. A clerk will receive your letters, and direct
you to a certain window in the next room where you will pay your notarization
fees. You do not need to wait for window
13 anymore.
It will cost
$30 US Dollars to notarize one letter, plus $20 for each additional
letter. This can be paid in either US
Dollars or an equivalent in Bhat. After you pay, you will return to the front
room and show your receipt to the clerk.
Then you will need to wait for a short while as they notarize your
letters. When they call your name, you
will pick up your notarized letters, and then you will be done.
Several days
after we had left Thailand, Jaruwan informed us that the two Florida women had
easily found their way through the embassy and had their surgery letters
notarized with little hassle, and thanked us for pioneering the way.
For now, we
were both sore and tired. We let the
taxi driver charge extra fare so he could take us on the expressway and drive
us back to the clinic earlier. We did
not go far from the hotel or clinic again today. After our ordeal this morning, we did not
feel like going for any more sightseeing or tourism today or tonight. The nurses invited Sherry Marlene for a Thai
lunch at the clinic on the third floor.
We played card games with the women from Florida this evening.
Thursday, October 20th, 2005
Ivan The Terrible
Sherry
Marlene and I felt a lot better today, and we let
Jaruwan take us to an even larger mall and then the Royal Palace. Going to that mall was a little trickier,
because we had to take a cab downtown, negotiate a shopping center to reach the
Skytrain, board a Skytrain,
and then switch Skytrains once on the way over. The mall Jaruwan took us to today had seven
floors. Regretfully, we could not stay
there for very long if we wanted to make it to the Royal Palace. We went on a guided tour in the palace. They do not permit pictures inside the
palace, but we were able to take many pictures outside.
The Florida
girls have been asking me how I will name my dilators. I like to study the weather, so I decided to
name them after infamous hurricanes that have hit the USA in the last three
decades. We tend to use male names for
dilators, so I picked seven major Atlantic hurricanes. I decided I would not use Allen because that
was my stepfather’s name. So from
smallest to largest, I chose Dennis, Ivan, Frederic, Charley, Hugo, and
Andrew. If I decided to buy even wider
dilators back home (I have up to 21/16, some girls use up to 1 ½ inches), I
would use the names Mitch and Gilbert.
After we
returned from the Royal Palace, I had my late afternoon date with Ivan the
Terrible.
Friday, October 21st, 2005
Another Shopping Night at the Mall
Today was
Sherry Marlene’s last full day in Bangkok.
We decided to go back to the mall that was close to the hotel. We had to settle for the mall close to our
hotel, because we didn’t think we could find that large one downtown on our
own. The two women from Florida also
wanted to come, and we decided that we would eat dinner at the Sizzler restaurant
inside the mall. We came to the clinic a
little early for our afternoon dilation to make more time for the mall this
evening.
Our cab
driver took a longer route, and he actually got us to the mall more quickly
because he avoided some of the worst traffic.
We did eat dinner at the Sizzler, but the Florida women decided to
return to the hotel early. Sherry
Marlene and I went to several stores, and we were able
to stay on our feet longer than we had Monday night. I purchased a couple of trinkets at a stand
outside the Sizzler.
Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
Sherry Marlene Left Bangkok
Sherry
Marlene felt sad because she had to leave Thailand today,
and I felt sad for her. After our
morning dilations, Jaruwan had our pictures taken with the staff.
I called
McDonalds and asked them to deliver our lunch.
Sherry Marlene wanted to put clear polish on my nails. At first I declined, because I usually don’t
bother with make-up or nail polish. But
then I let her do it, mostly to take our minds off of her impending
departure. My CD player had started to
skip, so we tried to fix that too, but to no avail.
I had asked
to ride along to the airport so I could be with Sherry Marlene as she left
us. Regretfully, Jaruwan needed to drive
the van somewhere else after taking Sherry Marlene to the airport, and I would
not have a ride back to the hotel if I came along. I offered to have a taxi take me back to the
clinic, so I was able to come after all.
Sherry
Marlene had to enter an area in the front of the airport where only passengers
were allowed. We waited outside this
area for Sherry to check her luggage.
She was then able to meet us for a last few minutes. It was sad seeing her go, and also knowing
that I would have to follow her process in less than two days from now. Toward the back of the room, she paid her 500
Bhat airport tax, and then gave us hugs before
entering the passport control area where non-passengers could not enter.
Then I sadly
rode a taxi back to the hotel. I had
caught one of the taxi’s with the sign ‘I love farang (foreigners)’ indicating that he knew English. He was playing American music. I think he noticed my sadness, but
misinterpreted the reason, because he asked me if his music was OK, so I let
him know that I did like it, especially the John Lennon song ‘Imagine’ which
had just aired.
Dr. Kamol
examined me one last time when I returned for my afternoon dilation. He removed a tiny amount of necrosis from the
tip of my clitoris. I worried that I
might develop more necrosis, but Dr. Kamol reassured me that I should not have
any more. Aside from this, Dr. Kamol
believed that I was healing quite well, and he again assured me that my genital
swelling would eventually subside, but it would take months.
As I walked
back to the hotel, several young Thai men admired me as I walked by, and one of
them yelled, ‘I loves you!’
I already
felt lonely in my hotel room without Sherry Marlene. I visited the Florida women.
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
My Last Full Day
Today was my
own last full day in Bangkok. I wanted
to take a shower and epilate my legs just before I left Thailand, and I decided
to do those things early today so I could enjoy the afternoon in Bangkok. This was made more difficult by a power
outage. I had heard occasional booming
noises early this morning, but there were no thunderstorms this morning. Then I suddenly heard one loud boom, and many
dogs barking right after the power went out for about an hour.
I told the
Florida women that I would spend my last afternoon here at the mall again, and
wanted to buy a few more souvenirs. One
of them wanted to come with me. I also
purchased two skirts that stretched at the waistline so that I could fit in
them, plus several more trinkets for souvenirs.
We ate lunch at the Pizza Hut.
After my
second dilation, I gathered my six dilators, and all of the cleaning
supplies. I had purchased some more
cleaning supplies so I could take a full kit back home with me, and hopefully
not have to go shopping as soon as I returned to the USA. I merely bought a sandwich and cake from the
counter for dinner, but I ate it with the Florida women.
Because Dr.
Kamol had given me many dilation and cleaning supplies, and I had purchased a
few souvenirs, I could not fit everything in my two suitcases. I had to leave something behind. I decided to jettison that CD player that was
malfunctioning. I had won this CD player
in a drawing at work three years ago, but I doubted that I could have it
repaired, so I decided I would leave it and then replace it after I returned
home.
Monday, October 24th, 2005 Part I
Trail of Tears
I woke up
just before 2AM so I could perform one dilation before
the long flight. Because the clinic had
not let me dilate the day after I left the hospital, I was not worried about
losing depth or width before I arrived in Tulsa. I had many other reasons to worry and be
emotional today.
Jaruwan came
to my hotel room after 3:30 AM with another woman from Kamol’s staff. I checked out of the hotel. Sherry Marlene had generously paid her share, and I ended up with a little refund.
I had to
leave Jaruwan’s company for a short while as I checked in my luggage. When I was near the front of the line,
someone directed me into a curtained area.
Had I been selected for extra screening again? This time they seemed more concerned with my
checked luggage. They opened both
suitcases, but they seemed focused on one little box. After they found, opened, and looked inside
this box (which contained one of my trinkets), they concluded their inspection
and zipped my suitcases shut again. I
think they wanted to make sure I wasn’t smuggling drugs. Jaruwan told me she was not surprised that
they had checked me like this.
Jaruwan was
allowed to join me again after I had checked my luggage. She took me to a currency exchange window so I
could convert my extra Bhat (including my lottery
winnings) to dollars. I kept a little
bit of Bhat for souvenirs. Then we went to the window where I paid my
500 Bhat airport tax.
Now came one
of my most dreaded moments. Jaruwan
could not accompany me past this point.
She had helped me and reassured me so many times, and had done so much
for me. Best of all, she was a very good
friend. I would miss her so much.
I was on my
own for at least the next 24 hours. I
didn’t get lost in the Bangkok airport this time, but going to the gate on my
own was still unpleasant. I passed
through another security checkpoint, this one for my self and carry-on luggage,
but there was no extra screening.
Besides, I was post-op now, and did not fear a closer screening of the
body.
Instead, I
was afraid of not making it back home OK.
Actually, I wasn’t quite going home today, because I was going to return
to Tulsa where I would spend almost a week convalescing at my friend April’s
place. I had met April three years ago,
and she was one of those friends who had seen me transition before I had moved
away from that area.
But to get
there I would have to endure two very long flights, a third flight after that,
and hope that I made my connection in Tokyo.
My scheduled layover in Tokyo was less than an hour, and I remembered
that on the way over they had moved the departure of my next flight twenty
minutes forward. There would be very
little room for error. What I feared most
today was that I would arrive in Tokyo too late to make my connection. I had been told that in this event, Northwest
would place me on another flight without additional charge, but I did not look
forward to the possibility of staying overnight in Tokyo, thousands of miles
from anyone who knew me. Being that far
from either home or my friends in Bangkok overnight would have given me
anxiety.
I did not
suffer from much physical pain. I used
my rubber donut to ensure that I would not become too sore while sitting down,
and I felt very little pain until a couple of hours before I arrived at
Minneapolis. Even then, my physical pain
was relatively minor. Waiting until I
was three weeks post-op instead of departing after only two weeks made quite a
difference in the amount of physical pain I had to endure. Most of my pain today was emotional.
Our pilot
announced that we needed to wait in Bangkok for a short while because excellent
tail winds would otherwise take us to Tokyo too early. I hoped that the pilot was correct about
this. Skies were mostly cloudy
throughout our flight. I had taken the
advice of several post-ops and reserved aisle seats for all three of my flights
back to the USA. So I saw very little
scenery, and only caught a couple of glimpses of wilderness in eastern Thailand
and Laos between the clouds. I was on an
airbus again, and screens constantly displayed our flight path and location.
I was feeling
anxiety again. This was the same anxiety
I had felt on the way over, because I was far from home and friends. I hoped that our flight would avoid mainland
China. I got my wish. In fact, our flight barely went over the southern
end of Taiwan before finally turning towards the north. But I continued to have anxiety and crying
spells anyway, because I was leaving all of the friends I had made in
Bangkok. I was going to leave a trail of
tears from Bangkok to Alaska.
We did in
fact arrive in Tokyo early. This was a
good thing, because my flight out of Tokyo had been moved forward 20 minutes
just as it had been on my way to Bangkok three weeks ago. I felt partial relief after I had boarded my
next flight. This was not a flight from
one foreign city to another foreign city, but a flight back to my own home
country.
Time had
advanced two hours between Bangkok and Tokyo, but now it would soon retreat a
whole day. Although we took off from
Tokyo only a little after 3PM local time, the sun set very soon afterwards and
the skies quickly darkened.
Monday, October 24th, 2005, Part II
Second Sunrise
Not only had
we left Tokyo a little early, but we would arrive in Minneapolis even
earlier. We had strong tail winds
again. I was relieved that I had not
chosen to go to Thailand today, because I knew that today’s steady head winds
might have messed up my flight times and caused me to miss the connection in
Tokyo and arrive in Bangkok late.
I had tried
to sleep on this long flight, but I caught no more than a few minutes of
sleep. Somewhere over Canada, the sun
rose for my second time this Monday.
Breakfast was a disappointment.
They had run out of omelets and other breakfast choices, so they were
just serving some type of noodles that weren’t very good. From my aisle seat, I was able to catch a few
quick glimpses of lakes in Manitoba, and I think I saw part of Winnipeg. A stewardess handed out custom forms for all
US citizens to fill out. I felt better
now because I would soon be with caring friends again.
US customs in
Minneapolis wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Everyone did have to reclaim their checked
luggage, and when we were done we did not have to wait in order to recheck our
luggage on another belt just inside customs.
I did have
one anxious moment while waiting in the last line in customs. A woman approached me and asked whether I was
called Sherry or Joanne. For a minute I
feared that I was receiving extra scrutiny again. But she merely told me that my friend was
here at the airport, just downstairs from the next room, and she was waiting to
meet me. I wasn’t home yet, but I was
back among friends!
My friend
held a cardboard sign with my name on it, and she too was excited to see
me. We went to one shop for food, but
decided that was too expensive, so we went down another floor where I found a
cake and soda for a more reasonable price.
My friend had many questions about the surgery. She wanted to take me outside, but after
three weeks in the tropics, I did not have clothing for the climate here, and
it was a cold day outside. She had hoped
to have her SRS next year, but had suffered some agonizing setbacks. I hoped life would soon improve for her so
she could soon be where I was at now.
She was only 5’2”, one of the shortest MtF transitioners I have ever known, and passed excellently.
I called
April to let her know that I had made it to Minneapolis, and should not have
any trouble making it to Tulsa this afternoon.
We actually
had a little trouble because our flight time to Tulsa was shorter than
expected. Those tail winds were pushing
us again. After we landed in Tulsa, we
had to wait for a little while until our gate was vacant, and someone could tow
our plane to the gate. It wasn’t as cold
as Minneapolis, but those north winds that had caused my flight to arrive early
now kept the afternoon temperature down to a dry 60 degrees. After three weeks in muggy Bangkok, 60
degrees felt chilly!
One of
April’s friends met me at the airport.
She drove me to April’s house, where I received flowers signed by April
and two other friends, ‘Congratulations, it’s a girl’. April had many happy tears for me. I felt tired, but I also felt relieved,
happy, and complete.
I have
literally seen the sun rise twice today.
And my long transition and SRS have given me a second sunrise in
life. My first sunrise had been followed
first by sadness and incongruency, and then a
darkening night. As I had progressed
through my slow transition, my life had brightened again in the new twilight
before my new dawn.
My life is
not perfect. I will still have trials
such as stressful workdays, issues with my former family, and all kinds of
miscellaneous occurrences in life, but I will now deal with these things while
a bright and new sun shines on my new life.
My week at
April’s was a transition from my three weeks in Thailand, where Dr. Kamol’s
staff had done so much for me and wanted to do even more, to being completely
on my own during the fifth week. April
set me up in her one bedroom so that I would be able to dilate privately. Most of my other friends in Tulsa were busy
with work, and one had moved away for employment, so I didn’t quite spend as
much time with others as I had hoped.
April looked
after me as I continued to recover from my surgery and re-adjusted to American
time and climate. One nurse, who had her
SRS by Dr. Preecha, looked at my SRS result and
reassured me that everything was OK and agreed with the assurances which Dr.
Kamol had given me, that my swelling would subside. It was a relief to hear this from someone who
had SRS by somebody besides my own surgeon.
April drove
me back home the following Sunday so I could let my HRT doctor examine me next
Monday.
My HRT doctor
examined me on Halloween morning, dressed as a giant spider! EEK!
She expressed concern about my swelling, but said that I was otherwise
healing well and had no infection. I set
an appointment for November 10th when she will give me letters to
verify my successful SRS for the Social Security Administration and other
government agencies. I should also be
released to return to work on November 14th, when I will be six
weeks post-surgery.
I miss Sherry Marlene and all of my other new friends I made
in Thailand. I make sure I go somewhere
every day, even if I only walk a little bit on the park trail. I’m not yet doing the long six to ten mile
walks I used to do before surgery, because I think I should allow myself some
more recovery first, but I’m walking a little bit again with little discomfort. The whole idea is not to be too lonely while
I am away from work. Even a quiet girl
like me greatly benefits from seeing other people while recovering from a major
surgery.
My SRS
experience was not perfect, but I believe that it did provide me with good
results. Although I had a frightfully
confusing first night after surgery, my overall experience was wonderful.
I do know
that Dr. Kamol’s staff took very good care of me when I was so limited during
my first week, and continued to look after me long afterwards. Jaruwan was always quick to comfort and
reassure me at any time, whether I had completed a long and anxious flight
across the Pacific, or needed to endure an unpleasant procedure at the
hospital. Every person on Dr. Kamol’s
staff went above and beyond the call of duty, and went so far out of their way
for me. They did so much that I had to
worry if they were doing anything or taking any time for themselves.
I can’t
really compare my experience with other surgeons, because I will never need to
have SRS again. I could however
recommend Dr. Kamol to those who are trying to choose a surgeon for their SRS.
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Part III Go to SRS Retrospective (Part V)